Thursday, September 9, 2010

Getting Dumped....

"I'm really sorry. I do not want to hurt you, but I need to let you know that I don't feel the same way about you that you feel about me." - excerpt from a recent break up letter I received.

I will spend the next few hours, days, weeks, regretfully a lifetime...wondering what changed? When did it change? How did it change?

When I first fall for someone, I love figuring out all of the insane circumstances of chance that it took to end up together. When I am heart broken, I am just as curious in understanding what made things go from hot to cold.

In this last breakup, it seems that things went from hot to cold over the course of days, without warning or insight. She just decided it was over and instead of being forthright, she wound us down over 3 weeks... and then finally delivered the death blow via email, when I told her I wasn't enjoying the "wind down" and wanted to figure out a way to make things work.

She's been over it for a month, I'm just now accepting reality....

but why?

how did this happen?

Carly Simon reminds us....

It happens everyday
Two lovers with the best intentions to stay together
They the decide to seperate
Just how it happens
Neither is certain
But it happens everyday
It happens everyday
After you break up
You say these words to your friends:
'How could I have loved that boy?
He was so bad to me in the end?
Well, you make him a liar
Turn him into a robber
Well, it happens everyday.
But I don't regret that I loved you
How I loved you I will never forget
And in time I'll look back and remember
The boy that I knew when we first met.
Still it happens everyday
Two lovers turn and twist their love into hate
But am I so different
From those young girls you used to date?
You used to adore me
You used to adore me
Still it happens everyday


Well...

She used to adore me...
and now... she doesn't....
and so this song is my reminder... that this happens everyday....
acceptance... is the next step...

On People...

I have realized...sadly... that people are going to think what they want to think -- often times....independent of facts, information or reasoning. This is a human epidemic... an attitude that prevents fairness or progress. It is limiting.

Today...
After declaring that the lunch I had eaten had left me feeling ill, I was told that I was an alarmist and that there was no way I could get sick an hour after eating.

It's sad... but I felt crazy after being told that. I had 3 trips to the bathroom in the course of that hour...and I still felt like I should apologize.

This is not the world I want to live in... I have always hoped for more... tolerance, acceptance, love and reasonable understanding.